Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

St. Patrick’s “Mission” Day?


2010
03.17

Today is the famous Kelly Green day fondly called St. Paddy’s.  And if you are a half Irish guy… it just seems like a day that completely needs celebrated!  What’s really amazing is the lesser known story of St. Patrick.  He was quite the stellar missionary actually. 

Little is known of Patrick’s early life, though it is known that he was born in Roman Britain in the fifth century, into a wealthy Romano-British family. His father and grandfather were deacons in the Church. At the age of sixteen, he was kidnapped by Irish raiders and taken captive to Ireland as a slave.[1] It is believed he … (more).

Oh, and you might want to wear green or you might get pinched.  That and I would strongly consider some corned beef and cabbage too!

Umm… Oops.


2010
03.10

I found this picture to be alarming and yet slightly funny.  It’s crazy how the economy and cultural marketing can crowd in on our ambitions for roadside evangelism.

Click for more FailBlog.org.  Be prepared to laugh (and be bothered).

Natural Selection


2010
02.16

Lately, for whatever reason, I’ve been involved in a lot of discussions revolving around dinosaurs, evolution, and the days of creation.  Today I was watching Del Tackett, of the Focus on the Family hit The Truth Project.  During the DVD tour about science and faith, Del spent most of time dealing with Darwinism’s lack of evidence (geologically and biologically that is).

And whatever that last sentence did to you personally, stirring a debate between Darwin or Intelligent Design (of which Ben Stein recently made popular) isn’t the goal of this post.  There is actually little goal at all… more amusement really.  I got to thinking that it would be fun to make a movie about Charles Darwin’s lifestarring Will Ferrell.

Can you just picture the humor of Will as the budding scientist, along with a band of crazy colleagues (Andy Ritcher maybe), traversing the globe making wondrously wild science discoveries?  How funny a farce to include pokes at Monty Python and Pirates of the Caribbean.  And imagine him rolling up on Africa to find Snoop Dogg (who would have to say fo-shizzle or speak in slam poetry style rap).  Or maybe there would be a scene of Matisyahu cranking out reggae in Jamaica.  Of course there would have to be a Galapagos Island moment where Ferrell rode a turtle in some ancient loin cloth.  I could picture the Darwinian vocab of Natural Selection, Survival of the Fittest, Adaptation, and “That’s a Dar-Win” being the butt of many a joke as well.

Seriously, this could be hilarious… much like a Talladega Nights meets HitchHiker’s Guide to the Galaxy!  I can totally hear Will (Darwin) saying, “Wait, wait… oh yes, that’s it… my good fellows, I have a THEORY!”

Calling all Hollywood Movie Producers!  Just email me now!  Many ideas are swirling, and I think we could make this work.

DAY 18


2009
05.07

05/07/09:  225.8 lbs.

Progress… yeah!

Tomorrow’s weigh in will be delayed until Saturday.  I will be out of town on Thursday and Friday studying for this summer’s message series called A Summer on the Mount in addition to what I’ll be teaching Sunday in Veritas & Catalyst.

Check out the accomodations.  I’m excited to spend some great time with the Lord.

DAY 8: Goal 1, check!


2009
04.27

4/27/09:  218 lbs.  !!

Well, week one down and my goal was reached; 5 lbs. !!

This next week might prove to be a bit harder.  Mostly because I’m going to be out of town and out of my regular routine.  But to add to the mix, I’ll be at a location that only serves what they call ‘vegetarian fair’.  I know (if you are like me at all, that doesn’t even sound fair) it’s mostly veges, pastas, beans, and gluten (ugh!), but I definitely think it’s all loaded with salt.  Either way…

I had a great workout this morning at 5 AM spin!  Who said there weren’t hills in Modesto (there were this morning)!  I hope to be able to pack up my bike to take with me and get a few rides in this week.  We’ll see.  It’s a beautiful place to ride; 4500 ft. with rolling hills and nice scenery!  Think of it like a wide open Knights Ferry with no river.

After tomorrow I won’t be able to weigh in until Saturday.  So come back then check out the progress.  This week’s weight loss goal is only 3 pounds.  Supposedly that’s the average loss per week for an average person anyway.  That means that my shiny new number is 215!  I’m going to get it!

The journey continues…

DAY 2


2009
04.21
The Fat Cyclist

4/21/09:  221 lbs.  I’m trying to be cautiously hopeful because of these science facts.

Science Show Narrator“Well children, now it’s time for interesting facts about the Stutz body.  An average Stutz can retain water and shed water in great quantities.”

The moral of the story is… less salt.  The journey countinues.

* a link to the mentioned inspiration idea. The Fat Cyclist Website

Since then…


2009
01.21

If you are keen enough to realize the date on this post and that of the last, you’ll see that it’s been a while.  And if you were one of the four people who stopped in for an occasional read, you might be interested as to why that it is.  Much has happened.  Much!

After my ride, I spent time a few days in Twain Harte (a stomping ground for the late great Mark Twain) to attempt my hand (hands literally… ’cause I typed) at a little bit of writing.  It was a blast.  I made that journey with four other guys and got about 7000 words into my first stab at a novel.  It’s not near finished and will probably classify as quite less than a full-fledged novel, but I like the product so far.  With hope, it will be done by Easter!

After that I took my crack at writing and taping a video production for our church Christmas weekend.  It was a challenge, but something I’m proud to say I did.  Not at my stellar performance of course, but because of the fact that I conquered quite a fear of being filmed on video.  The team of Joel, Scott, Matt, Chad and Daniel made the whole experience quite fun!  (‘I can hear an airplane!’ ~ Matt)

November proved to be busy with teaching and life stuff.  Thanksgiving was fun as my brother, Austin and my sister-in-law, Mel, stopped in to share in the bird (well, not my vegetarian family member Mel, lol!).  But December brought the rain… no literally.  I think the rain and the fog set in just in time for me to be depressed before the bottom fell out.  What I’m trying to say is that I hit an incredible stroke of bad luck!

Of course, you super spiritual people are saying, “There’s no such thing as luck; good or bad!”  Well, spend a week with me and we’ll see how you feel.  Here is the list that describes my final weeks of ’08.

  • I spilled coffee on my laptop on 12.14
  • I got a new laptop on 12.17
  • My car was stolen on 12.21… with the new laptop in it! {which I can add to the video camera that was also stolen in ’08}.
  • Had to replace locks, garage door openers, etc… thanks to a special thief.
  • My Christmas flight to TN delay on 12.22 and I nearly missed a connection in Chicago!
  • My only bag, a carry-on, was taken from me and placed in the wrong bin — didn’t receive ’til 10pm 12.25!
  • Battled a sweet case of depression (that was a new and weird feeling for me)
  • I spent New Year’s week in bed sick and had a horrid cough for weeks!
  • Bought a new car 1 day before they found my old one!
  • My insurance settlement check was deposit, thought to be fraud, and un-deposited by the bank with a phone call— so I bounced quite a few checks (even my tithe check… lol!).
  • … and I’m out of town for the premiere of ‘LOST’  (okay, that’s petty I know, but I needed a finale).

There is a line in a humorously sly song that says:

“It’s raining so hard, I can’t see the sky. That’s not the truth, but I know it’s not a lie.  The raven went out, the dove went behind.  We’ve been floating in this boat for some time.  I don’t know, but I need a rainbow…”

I tell you, I could relate to this verse for sure.  Needless to say, I just want one week without trauma, drama, or something being STOLEN from me!  I say all that to say, I have been a bit distracted, tired, or without a computer to keep up the blog!  But, ’09 will prove to be better… I can feel it.

God has been slowly teaching me that stuff is just stuff.  It comes and goes (with or without permission).  The important thing was how I handled these losses.  God kept telling me that my character was being tested– and boy was it!  I think this season of pruning will continue for a bit longer, but I know the fruit from it will be much more than I’ve ever expected.

Besides, I have a loving wife, two wonderful kiddos, a great job, and an amazing community of believers (and by community I mean a true godly community… shout out to Catalyst!) that love Jesus and desire to follow Him with me– what more could I want!  I have so much to be grateful for!

Now, I’m once again at the Journey (which I’ll post about tomorrow) and enjoying it immensely.  Hopefully, this place will once again contain the news of my joys and journey with Jesus.  I hope you’ll stay tuned.

33.3% Chance of Getting Cut


2008
08.26

Wow! Did you know that just outside the Olympic village this past weekend that four nations met to decide the world championship of Rock, Paper, Scissors.  The nations included were Ireland, Canada, the United States, and Guam.  And the medals were awarded in the same order.

Yes, Sean “Wicked Fingers” Sears took Bronze for the US.  We just barely made the medal platform.  Ireland took the Gold which got me wondering if Rock, Paper, Scissors (officially called: roshambo) is played in pubs throughout the ‘We land of Ire!’  And Canada was just excited to finish above the States in something other than geography.  What an honor!

These folks even have an official strategy guide and website… check it out.  I love when interesting sports make the main stage; cycling, table tennis, and even cycling.  But serious… Rock, Paper, Scissors?!

If you’d like to read the rest of the article, click here.


Rss Feed Tweeter button Facebook button Flickr button Youtube button